How does my ink blots?

I would accept it with open-mindedness if somebody would ever criticize my writings. I know, and am truly cognitive of it, that most of my thoughts are mostly vain. This very own judgment of mine did not come out of me as for putting down my potential (as if there is actually any). I say this for the reason that my performance in this field does not even satisfies my very own simple standards. Having read and ventured quite a number of compositions, I’m pretty certain with the fact that my capableness has not yet attained that touchstone of which could be considered as ‘fine rate’ in the criterion of justness.

Nonce, may I showcase to you some facts about the person who is writing these thoughts to warn you to read her words at your own risk. For, chances are, you may just get a pout with the annoyance of knowing what a disdainful poor fish really this person is, or get riled to exploding, realizing that you’ve thrown your precious bits of continuum of the clock just for this absolutely pathetic hokum.

So here it goes, in bullet phase:

• When weaving the words for my compositions, I cannot have a solo flight without the tail of a lexicon and a thesaurus around. That is to say, all my writings are fake and not really entitled for my own copyright. They are partly owed to Mr. Webster, and this time, to the makers of Wordweb (a free dictionary software which I’ve downloaded recently). But for the thoughts, I tell you; they’re solely from the deepest lieu of my hapless brain. Hey, but I’m not bragging about that, they may not be that significant anyway, and I guess some of you may find them perfect craps.
  


• Epistaxis. I’m always nearly into this every time I write. I don’t really possess an amount of words in English language; therefore further stressing how vain I am with writing. I incessantly run out of words, and just resort to consulting the ‘Wordweb’ for an ailment. Thanks this time, for the medication is just a couple of prods away: just a few clicks and typing, and behold! There comes my instant word aid!
  


• I always appear to be a pathetic incapacitated try-hard writer every time I attempt of starting a composition. There’s always a sort of squeezing of my heart in instances that I really wanted to write and was about facing my laptop and figuring out the thoughts that wanted to burst out of by brain. As I move my hands to travel though the keyboard, they always feel stiff, lazy to move, and my heart and mind seem to be boiling up to a climax state which bears a predisposition of collapsing at any moment. Honestly, that is what I am swimming into right now. Although I managed to start some words, I do feel too uneasy, and near exploding. Perhaps this is occurring for the reason that I really don’t know what to write, yet am really persistent to blot my thoughts, but too drained to so. For I am scarcely equipped with the instruments of materializing the fancies of my silly intellect, and perhaps afraid to endure the burden of digging up arduously for the right spells to employ. For this, I do think of resorting to weeping by the thought that this feeling would not stop teasing me. But I would be a fool by then, that was I would soon realize. See, what a pitiful creature I am - a weary screwball!

Well, there ends the trumpery facts that I’m talking about. They’re actually not FACTS, eh? Perhaps a singular term is the correct word. They are just redundant in some grounds, because I cannot organize the ideas at all. Simple, the reason for this is that I can’t think of any significant arguments to tackle anymore. My brain is totally drained, poor thing.

And so, what really is the reason of making this blog anyway, and posting out my writings?
Here’s the oxymoron for this: I want to speak up, and be heard. Although I cannot carry this out in a non-disgusting and favorable manner, I was able to let loose all the unstably thoughts playing wildly in my brain, at least. I guess, I may explode if I won’t set them free, and I found a relief with blotting them in this blog then. So readers, I am paying you my apology. I know, you may probably be puzzled or simply annoyed by my point by now, but please just do bear with me, or just abandon this site at once if you can’t bear it. It’s up to you!! Lol.